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Human emotions are complex. They are also unique to each and every person. This means that each person experiences emotions differently. If a group of five people who were sad were asked to describe their experience of sadness, we would more than likely get five different responses. Why? Because emotions are private experiences. Emotions are part of a complex tapestry including human temperament, life experiences, relationships, and perceptions. No two people are completely alike.
In my counseling and therapy practice in Chestnut Hill, Philadelphia and West Chester, Pennsylvania my clients tell me about their feelings and emotions and how they were responded to by the people in their lives. Since I work with issue involving, addiction, codependency, depression, chronic pain, etc., learning self- care and self- advocacy is of primary focus. In order to build these important skills one needs to learn how validate themselves. This is harder than one might imagine, especially if the person has been exposed or is living in an invalidating environment.
So, what is validation? Validation is to recognize and accept another person’s thoughts and feelings, regardless of whether or not you feel that they should be experiencing them. Validation helps us to develop a sense of self-worth. People who are validated feel reassured that they will be accepted and loved regardless of their feelings, while those who are not validated are more vulnerable to emotional and behavioral problems and relational difficulties.
We can validate another person by paying attention and reflecting back what we heard them share with us, asking questions, and identifying with them. This helps all of us feel “part of” and less alone. We can easily overlook the fact that ignoring others or neglecting to acknowledge them is indeed invalidation. This is why childhood neglect is considered abuse.
Here are a few everyday ways of validating one another. These can be built into how we communicate over the course of time and help improve relationships.
We can validate one another quite readily if we pay attention and seek out opportunities to do so. Validation strengthens relationships, communities and reduces conflict.
What is your experience with validation?
Integrated Treatment Solutions
1503 McDaniel Drive
West Chester, PA 19380
Phone: 610.692.4995
info@myintegratedtx.com
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Counseling & Therapy, West Chester, Exton, Downingtown, Main Line, PA Counselor
Paula Tropiano is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Certified Co Occurring Disorders Professional Diplomate (Certified at the state level to treat mental health and addiction issues occurring together).
Integrated Treatment Solutions is holistically oriented and applies a self-empowering, solutions focused, skills based approach in treating addictions to alcohol, drugs and other problem behaviors and issues related to mental and physical health. Learn more...