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The holidays are a time of reflection, whether we are aware of it or not. On some level we are thinking back on the past and taking stock of our lives. Most of us remember Charles Dickens’ classic – A Christmas Carol – and recall the ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Future as he takes Ebenezer Scrooge on a chilling nighttime journey to review his life providing him with the opportunity to make new choices.
Reflection can be either nostalgic or painful. Awareness can feel potent, especially if family relationships are strained, or if there were difficult challenges growing up – It may seem desirable to deny these feelings and to gravitate towards behaviors which take away the discomfort. Conflicts can create stress and depression for those trying to stay sober or maintain stability over the holidays. However, just like Ebenezer Scrooge, we always have the opportunity to recreate our future and to make new choices about how we want to be with others and how to live our lives.
This reminds me of an experience from when I was a small child with my father; we were coming out of Sears and The Salvation Army was outside ringing the bell and I asked my father what it was about. My father said, “Christmas time reminds us that we need to take care of one another. Christmas is about love.” That says it all – Bringing us back to the importance of validation, connection and belonging – the fundamentals of health and happiness.
Take time to connect with and notice others. Invite your neighbor who lives alone over for tea and holiday treats or volunteer at your local food drive. Build in opportunities to interact and listen to people.
In a recent client meeting, the topic of the holidays came up and how life changes – people move, pass away, and kids grow up. Often there is a call for change, but it is overlooked and we keep going on the way things were which can feel stale. A “freshening” change can be helpful. Perhaps, thinking outside the box a bit and adding to traditions and building in some new experiences.
For instance, when was the last time that you made time for real fun over the holidays? Figure out ways to have fun. In these times of economic challenge, perhaps consider reducing gift-giving and instead make time for outings that make for wonderful memories. Also, make time for things YOU like to do: going to a movie, taking a nap while everyone else goes skating, going to the gym. I plan to spend a lot of time taking long winter walks.
Slow down and stay present to the moment. Enjoy people, feelings and experiences. Step out of routine a little. Expand your experience.
Tis the season to be jolly — and also to be stressed out. If you tend to grow irritable, rushed, resentful, lonely, or overwhelmed, keep these preventative strategies in mind to help boost your happiness:
The holidays are supposed to be about peace, love, and fun — if we implement these strategies, then there isn’t much room for conflict, fatigue and negativity.
Happy Holidays to all!!!